But for the love of your greater being of choice- don’t see it with our audience.

They were loud, they had cell phones, they hopped seats despite a managerial announcement to cease such actions before the movie. They brought children under the age of 6 to see a Rob Zombie horror film. That should be grounds to take children away from their parents.

According to many a crusader I should be monitored and tagged because of my hobbies. I play roleplaying games, violent video games, I read fantasy and science fiction. I wear all black under my various trenchcoats. I listen to rock and roll of all sub-genres. But never would I take a small child to such a film. Not only are they disruptive to the audience, it cannot be healthy to see a man decapitated by a serial killer sawing through his throat with a shard of glass. Then to have mommy and daddy hug them tight and say, “It’s ok, it’s ok”, what kind of values can that instill? Get a sitter, drop them off with a friend, or go see Ponyo. Being a parent means sacrifice, sacrifice your movie going experience, not mine, and don’t teach your child to sacrifice teen girls.

Sad to say, I’m not sure which annoyed me more, the children or the parents. I can only imagine the horrors the prior generation sat through because they laughed as a man sat grievously injured from a car wreck, laughed as he cursed again and again from the pain he was enduring. They laughed as a girl slipped in her friends blood. They laughed as the main character spiraled into madness. I’m a former rotten.com fan, I visited ogrish.com when it still existed, but never have I found the images there worthy of the braying laughter that beat into our ears as we tried to enjoy the horror. Laughter is a tension reliever, to be sure, but I’ve heard people laugh less during comedy films.

I suppose they must not have been aware of the horrors taking place in front of them, few could take their eyes from their cell phones for more than a few minutes or sit still for an equal period. I’d try to get away from the crying children if it were possible, but I stayed stationary and let the dismal experience of the audience swirl around me.

Of the few who will read this blog, fewer still will have any chance of succumbing to these sins of movie theatres. I’m also not the first to repeat these complaints, but in my long and appreciable history of movie going, this was the worst experience I’ve had.