Minutes for December 9, 2009

Attendance: 21

Meeting Start: 12:00 am and 6 semesters later

Meeting End: 1:10am

News

Committees

Recruitment and Relations: Elly’s here. The most people here of all semester. Abby was here. Dan was also here.

Office Resource: The office is still there.

Movie: Did not bring a bad movie. We just watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. Fuck you, Stephen.

Trivia: Alex has trivia. And is here to give it. Alex: I don’t know. Erik: How to please a woman! I win! I was completing your thought.

Fundraising: FAIL.

Party: Hey look! We did it! Club owes Jon $82.50.

Discussion Group: Probably not going anywhere.

No Report: Stephen had a no report. I refuse to write it down.

Officers Reports

Chief of Operations: Is graduating. Still looking for a subleaser. Has no idea if he’s passing his highest class yet.

Constable: Here for the second week in a row–hasn’t happened this semester. Found out that having Everclear before bed gives him awesome vivid dreams. Automatically makes football more awesome. Is still awesome.

Com Officer: Got to help with the rat research lab. The rats are being introduced to a stimulant to see how that impacts cocaine-seeking behavior.

Grand Nagus: Now has a t-shirt that says I Love Grenades. Now on Exec Board of Accounting Honorary Society.

First Officer: Phil prepared for HJ for his professors. You get AIDS from sin, not blood and fluids.

Captain: Have been trying not to rip his own throat out because of the itching of his beard. Got to tell teacher that he was right about computers.

Old Business

• We finally voted on Zombiefest costumes.  Elly and Erik win the gourmet candied apples from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory!
• Zombiefest is on the way.

New Business

Elections!

CHIEF–Ashley wins.

• Ashley: Can do shit. Will do this shit. I’m done.
• Adam: Can do this shit. Will do this shit. Don’t make Ashley do more shit.
• Dan (Proxy): Dan can do this shit, but will hate us all for voting him in.

CONSTABLE–Erik wins and is knighted

• Fluffy: I’m Jewish: Vote for me.
• Phil: I can read. I have mutton chops that look like a cop from the 1800′s. Promises of British cop hat and muttonchops
• Erik: Rise, riders of Theoden! Lord of the Rings speech. Everyone screams death.
• Taia: Will print a new copy of the Constitution.

COM OFFICER–Elly wins.

• Elly: Will do the job. And if you don’t vote for me, it’ll be Fluffy.
• Fluffy: Vote for Elly!  (Nice try at reverse psychology.)

GRAND NAGUS–Sarah wins.

• Adam: Can do numbers. Also has all the CEFCU statements sent to his house.
• Fluffy: Is Jewish and, therefore, good with money.
• Sarah: Have managed to spend our cash so far. Really good at taking money and giving it to Jon or Forrest.

FIRST OFFICER–Rachel wins.

• Rachel: Ladies and jellybeans and gents and bums. Some weird speech occurred and I’m awesome.
• Erik: ALREADY ELECTED
• Adam: Been my own first officer for one and a half semester. Also willing to help Captain do what he’s been doing.
• Phil: Is the tallest out of all the first officers.
• Sarah: ALREADY ELECTED
• Fluffy’s Hair: Jon will be the voice of Fluffy’s hair. (Fluffy’s hair talks like Mickey Mouse.) Plans to kill myself soon, so please don’t vote for me.

CAPTAIN–Phil wins.

• Erik: ALREADY ELECTED.
• Phil: Has not missed a meeting the entire semester. Is still taller.
• Sarah: ALREADY ELECTED
• Alex: Is not an idiot, all the time, but… most of the time.

Other Organizations

MCS may need to have an emergency election? MCS is handed off to one of the Magic guy.

Quotes

Adam: Now may I end the meeting?

Adam: There are no other organizations~!

Jon: So the people behind Twilight want to make Dracula: The Teen Years!

Taia: Abby and Elly were playing a game together!
Adam: We know now that they’re not the same person with masks.

Phil: The last mention of Stephen in the Psi Phi minutes will be cursing his name.

Ashley: Doesn’t Forrest have the money? Where did he go?
Erik: He left because we were talking about the money.

Phil: Would you accept a hand job?
A-Mike: …Uh, and I’m looking forward to graduating and–
Phil: So, is that a later on the H-J thing?

Phil: Man up!
Ashley: At least he can grow a chin, Phil!
Jon: …What?

A-Mike: Fluffy had twice as many votes as his hair.

Adam: No, it itches every time I have my head! It itches all the time!

Phil: I just got to use the word gerrymandering in context!

Erik: When did Jews have a reign of terror?
A-Mike: We’re usually the object of the terror.

Ashley: Last time you made the muttonchop promise, you shaved them off.
Phil: But I grew them back!
A-Mike: You’re a flip-flopper!

Adam: I don’t have any secrets! I was saying I had secrets so you’d stop asking or someone else would take care of it.
Jon: I was hoping for that last one.

Erik: Nu-huh! You showed up for one 42 minute meeting, 43 minutes late!

Erik: I got the time wizard, bitch! Time magic! I ran for Captain a thousand years in the future!