Attendance: 12 +1
Meeting Start: 10 and 11 black semen applicators
Meeting End: Very close to 10:40
News
Committees
Recruitment and Relations: Elly is here. We need to get more people to come. Phil put in a bid in his western civ class but no one came.
Office Resource: The office is still there.
Movie: Hideous!
Things I Learned from This Movie:
- You don’t want the job of skimming mutant embryos out of raw sewage.
- Rich people have some freaky hobbies.
- Never sit on something that appears to be related to a porcupine
Trivia: Even though Willy Wonka got it right in the wrong language, Erik wouldn’t accept it. Willy Wonka is not here anyway, so Erik asked:
What is the secret of the perfect omelette? Answer: Two eggs not three. No one got it.
Alternate question:
What does Alton Brown know? Answer: Everything. Phil got it.
Fundraising: No one’s bought anything, so we’re still at the 4 bucks, and everyone needs to buy shit.
Party: none.
Discussion Group: What male accessory proves you have brass balls?
No Report: Xeen: Went to game room in Washington game room in his red Avanti’s shirt. They asked, are you with the confederation? No, I’m a red shirt. *took off red shirt to reveal yet another red shirt* crap!
Officers Reports
Chief of Operations: Bad day. :( At work, people were complaining about their free jeans alterations. Wants to employ a bitch tax at work.
Constable: Fantastic week, to counteract your Debbie Downer… New converse!! Orange! New camera came. Saw Between the Buried and Me, and during the concert their dicks came together to form a black hole. Long discussion of forbidding band member. One song has a country break down and another has an accordion break down.
Com Officer: Went to chiropractor and had to explain that she does not play a sport, but she has a tight butt because she does Biggest Loser workout dvds. They work, apparently.
Grand Nagus: Went out to dinner with a bunch of accountants: 22 of them. All they did was bitch about their classes and people in them. Most boring fucking dinner ever. Lost a glove and she cried.
First Officer: The semester of teachers with accents. Indian accent, drooling southern accent, Chinese or Japanese accent (apparently this is Larry Yu and he doesn’t like everybody). Pretty sure half of his lecture wasn’t even in English because no one had any idea what he was saying.
Captain: Is being bopped repeatedly just because. Had a gay porn catalogue, and some other stuff. That’s it. And a Verizon representative. By which he means a business card. He’ll be getting a new phone soon. Found out that most of the time when Ashley texted him, it was actually Jon. Those penis pictures seem a little more inappropriate now.
Old Business
The Who is playing at the Super Bowl.
New Business
none.
Other Organizations
Beacon is coming. There will be flyers distributed by ninjas.
Quotes
Phil: Does this look like a big black dildo to you?
Elly: How do you spell semen?
Phil: Apparently, if you’re manly enough, you can carry around a giant pair of brass balls.
Forrest: In Phi Phi News, FLUFFY IS A WOMAN!
Ashley: That is offensive to women!
Erik: During the happy part of Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton didn’t direct. He had to leave. He couldn’t do it.
Ashley: I’m willing to trade Orlando Bloom for.. anything. All he can look is perplexed.
Elly: YEAH!
Phil: Does the nursing department have a wheelchair that can be stolen?
Adam: Actually, no. We have some pretty sweet mannequins, though..
Phil: Is that a spotlight? Is it 1 million candle power?
Xeen: Approximately. You tell me.
Phil: Do they make electric accordions?
Phil: I’m not very helpful.
Ashley: We can make you be helpful.
Phil: That sounds like a threat.
Adam: The big problem is, when he’s talking about “alpha,” he is actually saying “arfa.” Nobody understood what he meant whenever he was talking about “arfas.”
Group singing of All That theme song.